Country Fried Tailgates

Over the weekend TWSF went to the first of a series of seven (yes seven) country music concerts as part of the country megaticket. Half of TWSF loves country and was excited to see Brad Paisley, the other half loves drinking outside and was excited to tailgate with a party bus. For those of you who aren’t familiar with country concerts it’s pretty much the same as a normal concert except for a few small differences: recreational drugs are replaced with whiskey and chewing tobacco, Birkenstocks are replaced with cowboy boots, shirts are replaced with no shirts, and minorities are replaced with more white people.

Getting to the concert turned out to be an exercise in chaos theory, everything that could have gone wrong did. Our driver CC decided to not show up for work and it took the dispatcher forever to scramble and find a new driver. Fredo the new driver showed up an hour and a half late in a 9 seat bus, we had ordered a 12 seater. So we headed off to the concert, a little late, a little cramped and more than a little pissed off (the fee was later reduced to less than half). And being DC, of course there was bumper to bumper traffic on 66 West on a Saturday afternoon. To top it off, as we were plugging along at 15 mph it began to rain. And shortly after that most everyone on the bus had to pee. We used Haymarket Transportation, they should probably be avoided if you are trying to accomplish the seemingly simple combination of going somewhere in DC with a large group and being on time.

Not all was lost. Despite the rain and being parked next to a bus full of smokers, the tailgate went off without a hitch. Those country guys sure know how throw a decent tailgate. Their setup included a tent, a full on PA system complete with a huge rechargeable battery and speaker stands (the microphone was smartly left behind), and of course a large grill.

The beauty of tailgate food (hamburgers, hotdogs and chips) is that it capitalizes on two of the core desires of a drunk person: something to eat and something for free (although TWSF still owes Tiny some cash). I couldn’t tell you if my hamburger was cooked properly or if my hotdog had the right amount of char. What I can tell you is that I was starving (we were delayed 2 hours after all) and those two slabs of processed meat smothered with corn syrup laden condiments and served in bleached flour buns was some of the best food I have had in a while. Would I have the same review if served the same meal as I sit here soberly typing? Probably not. But that is the beauty of tailgate food, it is simply supposed to make us not hungry, and it helps that it is simple enough to be prepared by drunk people.

(Side note: in addition to the tailgate there was a concert. The opening act was Hootie, who has apparently ditched the Blowfish and become a country music star, go figure.)